Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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