Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think I am morally bankrupt
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
