fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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