I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just high enough for therapy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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