Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
