No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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