Its about making memories worth repressing
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
