no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
