Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
