Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
