i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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