Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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