just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
