I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Your penis caused this!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
