Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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