I want to have your abortion
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
