That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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