Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
