one might say we're banned from that church
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
