I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Randomize
