ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
