she was so not down for the gang bang
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
