That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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