then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
