I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
