Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
