if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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