Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
