Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
