3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I love you. Go after that dick
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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