So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Every concussion has its silver lining
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
