I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
