And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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