You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
