he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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