after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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