Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
