We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
The power of my boobs compel you
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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