i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
