i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
