I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
