I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
