We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
