After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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