talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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