I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
