You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
