help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
