she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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