I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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